The old, worn-out, and forgotten

This morning I was sorting out my cabinet to look for things, files, just anything I could throw to empty my cabinet from old and useless things. From last year's documents, worn-out notes, never-remembered receipts, to old project's design, that was all I got to throw in the trash to have a considerable space in my cabinet.

As I browse all these time-forgotten things, memories slipped in uninvited. The pictures were surprisingly very vivid, the sounds were undoubtingly very clear; the voices, laughters, jokes, even the smiles and the blurred faces I saw from the corner of my eyes were still there. One thing though caught my attention. It was January 5, 2003 in a calendar. I draw a broken-heart figure on that day. I put a note on it that says "If you could no longer remember this, or even if you could remember but without any pain felt, then you have moved on." On that instant, I tried really really hard to remember what this broken heart stands for. I really could not remember a thing no matter how hard I tried. Of course I know who could brought me this broken heart, or the person who have caused it but I could not tell what was the cause. It was then I started to think of the person. Surely that person have moved on also. It has been a very very long time since we had talked or even contacted by phone, or even emails. But what caused me to draw the broken-heart figure could be very painful to cause me to draw it.

Failed to remember anything about the drawing I just thow it with all the other old stuff. Surely the note really is right. I cant even remember why I did write that note. It seems I was looking forward for the day that the pain I felt at that time would simply go away. Not knowing that I would come across with it 5 years after. Surely, I have moved on.

the Day I said Goodnight to NSP

It was Tuesday, July 22, 2008. An ordinary day, the usual atmosphere with the early morning routines in the office. But not for me for the past four days.

I just recieved a job offer from that American firm in Malaysia which had me scheduled for a trip on that country a week ago. The job offer was cool enough. But you know, NSP had been a comfort zone for me for the past 9 years. My heart seems so hard to get uprooted from these soils. I prayed so hard for the past four days looking for signs if I would accept the job offer or not. Today is the deadline for me to make a decision. 80% of me is ready to relocate, 20% of me is not ready to take the risk. I need a full 100% commitment to do the verdict. I really do not know what and when to decide.

As a first step, on that day, I approached my manager and told her that If ever I resign, I would submit my resignation letter or notice around Friday, July 25. I already told her my intention to leave the company a week ago. She answered that if I already have decided why not today, at least the japanese bosses and the NCOS counterparts would be informed in advance. All of a sudden, I got a push. My decision to resign became 100% ready to take the risk. Maybe that was the push I needed that time. So I printed 6 copies of resignation letters for HR, for four Filipino managers, and for one of the Japanese bosses.

Everything went fine except for the Japanese boss. He dont want to accept it until I would have a talk with the other Japanese boss, his superior. Wow, that was cool, this couldn't be the same nightmare that I had a year ago when I tried to resign when the japs wont accept my resignation. So, instead of giving him my resignation letter, which he wont accept, I gave it to his boss.

Now, the talk to his boss was TOUGH. Yes, very. I wont let you dig down to the details but at least a hint would do for now. After that, we concluded that on my last day would be on the 25th of August, giving time for me to do some turn-over activities.

That's it. The big major turn for the risk has been decided last July 22, 2008. Goodbye NSP. Its been so long. 9 years of working with you has been very fruitful and memorable. The bitter days I had with you, the overnights, pains on release days, were the things that made me appreciate more when I had my time for myself, friends, loved ones, and family. The best years of my life. But I have to say goodnight to you even on this very early morning hour of the day.

Trip to Malaysia

CitiTel Hotel in KL

I just had a trip to Malaysia last July 10-11. First time and exciting.

The company that eyed on my resume in jobstreet had asked me to see them personally in Malaysia after I had a skype interview with them a week ago. They bought a round trip ticket for me from Clark to Kuala Lumpur, and had my reservation in CitiTel Hotel in Kuala Lumpur Sentral.

Got the glitch? No? Yes? Good. Its Clark Airport, you heard me. I was not able to inform them in advance that I am from Cebu, and Clark Airport would take a plane ride (the fastest mean) from where I came from. So, I reserved a seat from Cebu to Clark last July 9, had a one night stay there, then flew to Kuala Lumpur the following day. I arrived in Kuala Lumpur aroung 3:45PM. Thanks to a Filipino man and his little daughter who chatted with me and helped me all the way my flight from Clark to KL. After that I took a 1-hour bus ride from the airport to KL Sentral and again befriended a Malaysian priest missionary in the bus and helped me again to locate the place where I should meet the trip sponsor, the company. Thanks to him again.

When I met the company representative, I was suprised he was not that totally in business attire while I am seemly overdressed in coat and tie thingy. Then we had a talk over a cup of coffee in starbucks, showed me thier office, had dinner, then a couple of beer, then drove me back to the hotel. That was a very long day. I could not imagine doing a lot of things in just a single day. The CitiTel Hotel was cozy, I never had stayed in such kind of hotel sponsored by NEC which I worked for almost 9 years. The "kuripot" japs always had us on some cheappy hotels no matter how important is our business trip.

Anyway, my flight on the following day was 7am so I had to leave the hotel around 4am. I arrived at Clark at 12noon then took a 2-hour bus to Manila and stayed there again for 1 night, in Richmond, wow huh. Then, the next day, is my flight home to Cebu. What a tiresome trip and a fulfilling experience.

I wish I could get a job offer from them and take a major turn of my carreer. Malaysia is a nice place to explore anyway with all the english-speaking locals, not to mention its very low cost of living. Malaysia here I come :D

An INCOMPETENT Service

" In our pursuit to attain world-class quality service, we are making it easier and more convenient for you to avail of our services through e-Census!"-(Message from the NSO Administrator)

This is the message from their administrator. Now, dream on.

This year, twice I had availed their service of online request for birth certificates, and twice did I pay for this service, and twice did I get disappointments.

my request details

the documents they mailed with different name and birthdate

I have requested eCensus for birth certificates with complete Full Name, Birthdate, Parent's name, etc. But still they mailed me a different one. Different Name, and Different Birthdate.Why cant they just send a NO-RECORD certification instead if they really cant find my record?

So what is the use of specifying specific detail of request of the incompetent service of eCensus would still give you a different document? What is their email address for if non of your emails were answered?

Welcome to the Philippines!!!

A lazy sleepy afternoon in NSP

To all ex-NSP employees, I know you missed her also, the NSP, I mean. This is for you to reminisce the time when you used to drooollll(zzzzz) over specifications and designs here, when you did the over-the-cube-head-chat thing, walked along the isle like a bride or groom would do.

Let the cup of memories flow while you still have them, because memories are not forever ...

A Taste of Freedom

What is freedom?

I wont mention its Theasaurus definition, nor its dictionary meaning. I want you to describe it based on your own perception, definition, standards, or simply as you are. When I was a child, freedom to me is running down the green meadows near just near my Lola's house, or splashing waters over the silent streams, waking up its afternoon slumber, or climbing up the strong arms of the mighty mango trees. Freedom, as a child, means the absence of a guardian or a parent. I could play all I want, all day and anything. It is as sweet as the candy over that store, as joyful as the breeze I felt on my face as I came down running along the white lines of our nearby shores.

When I grew up, giving up the childish ways, freedom could mean no curfews, buying all that fashion jeans over that mall, going to bars, or places I like, drinking those fancy drinks with weird tastes, without feeling any guilt. But all it means is doing things that makes you happy even for very short moments.

Yesterday, June 30, is my last day of a particular contract with NSP. An invisble heavy feeling

seems to be lifted from me. An expected joy emerged. A birth of new plan.

Freedom means no bounds, freedom is the joy of making choices of your own.

Freedom is simply being just you.

In Your Hands

In Your Hands
my life is Silence

existing and yet nothing

untouchable but is vulnerable

by Your Breathing

In Your Hands

my life is forgettable

a drop of rain

Caught from the air

In a storm

In Your Hands

my life, at peace

a loyal dying soldier

for his King