Loves that I have lost

Today, one of the days in June.

I was at the church, and there happened to be a wedding.
It was a June bride kind of thing.
And the priest had mentioned on his homily
about how many girlfriends he had when he
was a teenager, and then college, then work,
before he was able to decide that his
happiness is on being a priest.

then i recalled back in my mind, on how many
times did I tried to gamble feelings. From high school
until now.

From the first time I thought
i felt love, and then be loved.

How it felt so real on that moment, and as real as the next.
The deep happiness i had to be with the one i loved
with the same happiness yet different experience
on the next.

How true and committed I am on a
relationship and how painful was it.

How i died a little when it ends and
then live more on the next.

As I went on one by one, the feelings
and pains were no longer there but wisdom.

I became more worthy on the next relationship
I will soon have someday. The loves that I
have lost - i will forever be grateful to them.

How many times will I feel love, be loved,
die a little, live more,
before I get to the end of this search?

No one on earth knows.

For all of us, just love and hold on until all the
good is gone because we will never love on the same way again.

(nice lyrics :p )